she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am one with the molecules
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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