Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
