Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How does it feel to date your dad?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
