Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
