I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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