Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
