my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
