I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
