well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
