I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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