I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
