OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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