smell my finger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
