how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
