I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
