Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
