Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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