Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
