The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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