Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
