She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
