"it" just moved
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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