I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
