Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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