I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
