when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
