i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
