SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if only i could text you this smell
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
God I need to hump something, right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
