You made me cry and you don't even care
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
