so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
