where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
