After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
