I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
