that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
