I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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