Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
