just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bet he comes in French.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize