I wannas sexs uuuuu
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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