Too much gin, very little bucket
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
