11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
