1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
