If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
