Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
