If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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