Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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