Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
