don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
