he looks like a really good dad on facebook
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
