I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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