did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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