do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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