is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
