i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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